Thursday, January 26, 2006

From The GUNNERS, with love

1. In the beginning there was chaos and the chaos was the Infantry, for the Infantry was alone.

2. And fear was with the Infantry and they cried unto the Lord saying, "Lord, save us for we are afraid."

3. And the Lord heard their grunts and set some of the Infantry on beasts of burden and these he called Cavalry, and the Cavalry became Armour.

4. And when the Lord had seen what he had done he laughed saying, "Well, you can't win them all."

5. The Infantry and the Armour again cried out to the Lord saying, "Lord, save us for we are afraid." And the Lord heard their cries and decided to end their weeping.

6. And the Lord said unto them, "Lo and behold, I send you a race of men noble in heart and spirit." And the Lord created the Gunners.

7. And the Lord said unto the Infantry and Armour, "When it is dark, the Gunners shall light your way."

8. And when you need smoke, there shall be smoke, and when you need HE, WP, H & I and counter-battery fire, all this ye shall have."

9. And the Lord gave the Gunners big guns and field guns, and the Infantry and Armour were jealous for they had naught.

10. And the Infantry cried out saying, "Lord, thou hast created the Infantry as Queen of Battles, but now thou hast made the Gunners King of Battles and well knowest thou what the King does to the Queen!"

11. And the Lord replied, "Right on!"

12. And the Lord gave unto the Artillery rockets and missiles and, best of all, nukes. And when the Infantry and Armour saw this they fell to their knees in wonder saying, "Surely God is on the side of the greatest - THE GUNNERS."

13. And the Lord sayeth, "You got that right."

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Life is Cheap

A 27 yr old man was shot dead here on Tuesday night after he resisted robbers who were attempting to steal his mobile phone, Police said. The man was stopped by four unidentified gunmen who tried to grab his phone while he was riding his motorcycle, said the Deputy District Police Chief. When the man resisted, they shot him in the back 30 meters from the police station, but the police were unable to intervene in time....!

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Friday, January 20, 2006

Me A Screw?

I worked as a prison guard, or screw, once, but quit after a couple of years as gaol (jail) is a depressing place to be no matter what side of the fence you are on.

Anyway the Govd had a simple gender policy. By law you're treated as your birth gender determines. That means we had 5 inmates in max security men's jail which had had the full sex change operation. Firm silicon titties, long hair, knickers and all! All swinging their hips and acting, as best they could, as females.

You can imagine what that would to a man locked away for years on end. So it became a tradition during morning cell opening to get the new officers to open and check on the sex change inmates well-being, before they all came down for breakfast. Every officer is taught that if you find two inmates engaged in any form of sexual activity to check their faces. Because if one of them isn't smiling it could be rape! Which is more common in jail than people like to know.

But it was the look of shock on the new officers faces that encouraged us to abuse their sences for fun.

Sick bastards aren't we? But which bastards am I refering to?

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