Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Lotto 'n' mind control
One..... No Won 17 times this year at lotto.
lowest was $13 & the highest $64.
Still, It's not impossible to get the major prize & I'll
let you know how I changed my winnings from 1 a year to seventeen
soon.
Santa goes to the doctor & says.
"Doc, I got pissed last night at the annual Xmas party...& well, I passed out...&
you know what the elves are like. So I woke up this morning & I think an elf stuck a mince pie up my arse..!
Doc takes a look and say,,, " You're right,,,,But don't worry I've got some cream for that" ...............
01:20 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: funny, santa, big nuts
Sunday, April 15, 2007
A BETTER LIFE
A BETTER LIFE
A BOOK FOR THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY
"FOR THOSE WHO SEEK ANSWERS AND A BETTER EXPERIENCE OF LIFE"
CHAPTER CONTENTS & EXPERIENCES THAT WILL SHAKE FOUNDATIONS
1: THE UNIVERSAL COMPUTER AND ALL THAT IS.
2: EMOTION AND HOW YOU EXPERIENCE BECAUSE OF YOU.
3: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.
4: THE SCALES OF JUDICIAL THOUGHT.
5: ENERGY AROUND US.
6: UNDERSTANDING WHAT THOUGHTS ARE.
7: YOUR INTERNAL POWER FORCE COMBINED WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SO FAR TAKEN IN.
22:57 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: LIFE, MEAMING, BOOK
Thursday, December 14, 2006
powerball lotto
HO HO HO Humm!
YAWN YAWN !!!!
Seems I've won a free lotto game "Agian" this time i've won 200,000 USD from some shitily named group from the UK only I can't seem to find any UK addresses. This time they are bouncing thier IP through an American host from an Israel account. Funny how they reinvent themselves with the same message.
Anyway here's the hot potato: IF THEY ARE GENUINE WHY DO THEY HAVE YAHOO E-MAIL ACCOUNTS? ALL OTHER LIGITIMATE COMPANYS DON'T USE FREE E-MAIL ACCOUNTS.. SO IT'S EASY TO SPOT THEM BEYOND THE FACT THAT NO-ONE IS GIVING AWAY FREE MONEY TO STRANGERS..
They nearly raised my pulse to over 60 beats a minute...NOT
11:25 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this | Tags: LOTTO, POWERBALL
Sunday, November 19, 2006
The Jehovah’s Witnesses
Anyway, one day he came to me with a small problem, he’d met a really nice local girl and told me he thought he was in love with her. I said that wasn’t a problem. My wife was also a local girl and they make good life companions, “go for it.” However, he went on to explain that the church forbid such activity and if they found out he could be sent home in disgrace. I invited him for a beer after work to nut this problem out.
The solution was simple: it’s either the church or the girl. After a few days of careful thought he informed the church that he’d quit, but said nothing to them of the girl. He also told them of my advice… One of his church elders told him he should stay away from me because I had personally made homosexual advances towards this individual. My friend replied that he hadn’t noticed anything strange when he’d had dinner with my wife, daughter and I just recently and the individual didn’t even know I was a straight family man. He was going to any length to get the guy back in the fold. Even lying was ok for these fruits.
My friend married his sweetheart and soon after they had a beautiful girl. They moved back to Canada and he has stayed away from that repulsive organization and its disgusting individuals ever since and lives a happy life.
So where is this going? Unfortunately, people aren’t as smart as they could be. Without any evidence people speak of gods with authority like they’ve met the blokes. And in that name commit unimaginable crimes against any and everything. That’s why I don’t subscribe to it. I’d rather enjoy my life without the worry of offending the mystery man no matter how many brain washed fuckers want to rant at me. Religion is the cause of so much evil it’s astounding.
11:00 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: god, jw, bush.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Christmas Card Caption
I've deciced to use this picture for my xmas cards this year but I can't think of a good caption. Other than
"The turkey's screwed, who wants Whoppers?"
Any others out there?
13:28 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: xmas, war, ice, meth.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
XMAS
Almost the season
It's almost the time for the malls and elevators to start churning out canned Xmas tunes.
Oh the dread..
Oh the bordom..
And I think the worst job in the feastive croud would have to be the Xmas Tree Fairy. Imagine having to spend a month with a pine tree shoved up your bum..
That thought keeps me sane somehow? If I focus on not having that job I can just about get through the shitty tunes without murdering some dickhead shop assistant
12:55 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
True Funny Fart Story
Anyway, she invited me to a local bar one lunch time where she and her friends met on Fridays and the place was actually a business mans joint and quite plush inside.
This popular venue forced us to stand shoulder to shoulder and in the winter the warmth was welcome. Suddenly she said in my ear "Don't move" then she turned around, pushed her butt against my thigh and let rip a huge fart. I felt the reverberations but not the sound. Then she looked at me and smiled like it was the greatest trick on earth.. the disgusting little cow..!
13:30 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Monday, October 30, 2006
Super Booger
I was about 14 and sitting through the daily grind of French lessons when the urge struck to check my nose for "door stops". I always had long finger nails as chewing them wasn't something I did. Anyway, I got a good grip on what promised to be a healthy chunk worthy of a "roll 'n' flick" and tugged it loose.
To my complete surprise the prize "door stop" came out with an extremely fat and long string of bright green snot hanging off it and swinging in front of me at arms length. This swinging 14 inch monster made the kid next to me shout "Fucking Yuk" and the whole class turned to see what it was.
Ever heard the saying "Never be seen in red and green?"
So what's your worst booger story guys?. I know you've got one...
17:52 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: boogers, make money
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Ice or Meth
He told me it was a type of speed and that taking it made him not feel the effects of alcohol even after 10 beers and numerous spirits, also it increased his sex drive to the tune of 5 or 6 times a night!!! Well it certainly sounded like the new party drug of choice. But I'm not so easily persuaded to do chemicals of any sort so I asked a French doctor what he knew.
The doctor informed me that "yes," it is a type of speed and it does have those effects, but it also has a more life altering effect that once it's got you you're owned by it. Same as heroin. That urge to fill the craving overrides all other rational, yes you will steal from granny to buy a hit or commit crimes to find the cash.
But that's not the worst part. It directly affects that part of your brain that controls emotion. Therefore, if you are happy you are very happy and if you are angry you will be very angry: like a mental patient frothing for medication while being all tied up.
So the choice is yours. Have control of your life or try this evil shit and forever be at the beck and call of a drug dealer whose only interest is taking your money so that he and you can completely fuck up your life. while at the same time losing all of your friends and limiting your social circle to other fucked up useless beings.
Sounds great where do I sign up...NOT
for more info check out this site:
Pictured left is all you need to completely destroy your life forever. And forever is a long long time.
11:55 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: ice, meth, amphetamines.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Free Lotto: Part 2
Well that was fun but we didn't win this time. I went to the Tatt's Lotto site and checked for myself..
Never mind, we will have better luck in the next one and you can join us for free if you like. Go to the page and it explains how to play
www.sharemylotto.com/?ref=cowell_paul@yahoo.com.au
You can use my referal or not, your choice. This is a real deal. Good luck.
Who's this bloke? Maybe the next 'Lucky Winner'
12:01 Posted in Humor 'n' Fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: free, lotto