CHILI

Lotto 'n' mind control

2008-06-25T01:29:28+10:00

One..... No Won 17 times this year at lotto.

lowest was $13 & the highest $64.

Still, It's not impossible to get the major prize & I'll

let you know how I changed my winnings from 1 a year to seventeen

soon.

Santa goes to the doctor & says.

"Doc, I got pissed last night at the annual Xmas party...& well, I passed out...&

you know what the elves are like. So I woke up this morning & I think an elf stuck a mince pie up my arse..!

Doc takes a look and say,,, " You're right,,,,But don't worry I've got some cream for that" ...............

A BETTER LIFE

2007-04-15T22:57:34+10:00

A BETTER LIFE

A BOOK FOR THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY

"FOR THOSE WHO SEEK ANSWERS AND A BETTER EXPERIENCE OF LIFE"

CHAPTER CONTENTS & EXPERIENCES THAT WILL SHAKE FOUNDATIONS

1: THE UNIVERSAL COMPUTER AND ALL THAT IS.

2: EMOTION AND HOW YOU EXPERIENCE BECAUSE OF YOU.

3: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.

4: THE SCALES OF JUDICIAL THOUGHT.

5: ENERGY AROUND US.

6: UNDERSTANDING WHAT THOUGHTS ARE.

7: YOUR INTERNAL POWER FORCE COMBINED WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SO FAR TAKEN IN.

powerball lotto

2006-12-14T11:25:16+11:00

HO HO HO Humm!

YAWN YAWN !!!!

Seems I've won a free lotto game "Agian" this time i've won 200,000 USD from some shitily named group from the UK only I can't seem to find any UK addresses. This time they are bouncing thier IP through an American host from an Israel account. Funny how they reinvent themselves with the same message.

Anyway here's the hot potato: IF THEY ARE GENUINE WHY DO THEY HAVE YAHOO E-MAIL ACCOUNTS? ALL OTHER LIGITIMATE COMPANYS DON'T USE FREE E-MAIL ACCOUNTS.. SO IT'S EASY TO SPOT THEM BEYOND THE FACT THAT NO-ONE IS GIVING AWAY FREE MONEY TO STRANGERS..

They nearly raised my pulse to over 60 beats a minute...NOT

The Jehovah’s Witnesses

2006-11-19T11:00:58+11:00

A few years ago when I was The Director of Studies at an international English language school I met a really nice bloke from Canada. He worked under me and was very good at his job. His only down fall was his association and membership in the JW church. He didn’t bother proselytizing at the school or among the co-workers as it was forbidden, but he did do his weekend duty of door knocking and trying to scare the wits out of the uneducated locals (Fertile ground for bullshit religions)

Anyway, one day he came to me with a small problem, he’d met a really nice local girl and told me he thought he was in love with her. I said that wasn’t a problem. My wife was also a local girl and they make good life companions, “go for it.” However, he went on to explain that the church forbid such activity and if they found out he could be sent home in disgrace. I invited him for a beer after work to nut this problem out.

The solution was simple: it’s either the church or the girl. After a few days of careful thought he informed the church that he’d quit, but said nothing to them of the girl. He also told them of my advice… One of his church elders told him he should stay away from me because I had personally made homosexual advances towards this individual. My friend replied that he hadn’t noticed anything strange when he’d had dinner with my wife, daughter and I just recently and the individual didn’t even know I was a straight family man. He was going to any length to get the guy back in the fold. Even lying was ok for these fruits.

My friend married his sweetheart and soon after they had a beautiful girl. They moved back to Canada and he has stayed away from that repulsive organization and its disgusting individuals ever since and lives a happy life.

So where is this going? Unfortunately, people aren’t as smart as they could be. Without any evidence people speak of gods with authority like they’ve met the blokes. And in that name commit unimaginable crimes against any and everything. That’s why I don’t subscribe to it. I’d rather enjoy my life without the worry of offending the mystery man no matter how many brain washed fuckers want to rant at me. Religion is the cause of so much evil it’s astounding.

Christmas Card Caption

2006-11-10T13:28:44+11:00

I've deciced to use this picture for my xmas cards this year but I can't think of a good caption. Other than

"The turkey's screwed, who wants Whoppers?"

Any others out there?

XMAS

2006-11-09T12:55:04+11:00

Almost the season

It's almost the time for the malls and elevators to start churning out canned Xmas tunes.

Oh the dread..

Oh the bordom..

And I think the worst job in the feastive croud would have to be the Xmas Tree Fairy. Imagine having to spend a month with a pine tree shoved up your bum..

That thought keeps me sane somehow? If I focus on not having that job I can just about get through the shitty tunes without murdering some dickhead shop assistant

True Funny Fart Story

2006-10-31T13:30:00+11:00

I hadn't seen my kid sister for just over four years. So I made the effort to visit the family for Xmas as she still lived at home back then. Most of her friends were punk rock type teenagers. You know the sort: leather, studs, nasty sounding band names and so on...

Anyway, she invited me to a local bar one lunch time where she and her friends met on Fridays and the place was actually a business mans joint and quite plush inside.

This popular venue forced us to stand shoulder to shoulder and in the winter the warmth was welcome. Suddenly she said in my ear "Don't move" then she turned around, pushed her butt against my thigh and let rip a huge fart. I felt the reverberations but not the sound. Then she looked at me and smiled like it was the greatest trick on earth.. the disgusting little cow..!