CHILI

I remember once, I had this stomach ache that was, well like, not so much of a worry, but evident. Anyway, I enthusiastically set off for a night with the lads for our usual Beer Denial Session, and all was going well until around 8.30pm when Nature called and said, "Take a pee right now or else!" Not wanting to upset Nature I diligently made my way to the bathroom. Once there, Nature was possitively screaming at me, "Hurry up or else!" I quickly released the usual obstructions and "Ahhhhhhhhhh Yes!"

The pleasure of a pee in need is oft neglected by writers, poets and politicians, which is a shame. The enjoyment is almost indescribable. So there I stood, all alone and locked in when it suddenly happened....

I sneezed !

And in that nanosecond in which a sneeze is born and dies a new sensation joined my soul. A rather large moist and warm lump / pile / heap of crap emigrated from my insides to my outsides, and sat there quite contented in the seat of my underpants.

"Fuck it" I swore and sneezed again....

"Fuck it" I repeated as the warm invading sensation spread and I began to feel real fear. The pee was still an ongoing concern as crap pile number two was making room for itself in and among crap pile number one. If I sneeze again I'm done for I thought because the offending emigrants were still contained and being delayed by Underpants Passport Control but could quite easily slip through the net, and make thier way to downtown socksvil....

Ahhhhh... Ahhhh... Chhhh...!



And the beer was cold and sweet...



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